It's funny how come i don't cry though i miss you and ever since you left me.. I've figured maybe it's because I'm too used to people leaving me.. or probably I've cried too many night and too many times before. When I was younger. I have probably grown numb to this similar pain and this similar kind of sadness. You can get used to a certain kind of sadness, y'know? I'm surprised I'm so much stronger than I think I am. Yesterday night, had a dream about my brother. Dreamed that he was lost and I cried so bad.. I really can't imagine if that really happens in real life. Even in my dream, i could feel the extreme pain already. So, I've been thinking about my current life and here are some goals which I have set for myself:

1. Grow closer to God, focus solely on him.
2. Achieve a nice figure.
3. Achieve good results.
4. Grow closer to my good friends, form a stronger relationship with them and spend more time with them.
5. Spend more time with my family. (brother, dad, mom, grandma, sister)

Just so you know, i miss you so much. Though it pains me to agree to this decision, I still agreed to it. Because i know that staying on will just hurt so much more. Without you even for a day, I feel that something is missing in my life. Part of me is missing. I did not even realize that i have gotten so used to you. Your voice, your presence, your hands, everything. I really didn't expect myself to miss you and think of you so much so that your name lingers in my mind almost every minute. That i even called out your name on accident  when i was calling my friends and thankfully, i spoke your name softly, so no one heard. Except me. Living in a torturous state of not having you by my side anymore. Tonight is not so lonely after all, I had so much fun with my best friend and Gabriel, simply roaming around town and making last minute activities which ended up to be, so great. So glad to have them in my life.

No, not this time round.

Here i am, blogging while waiting for my mask to be done. I'm enjoying this moment right now, simply relaxing in my bedroom and listening to the radio. 88.3 night songs are really nice. Chinese songs are so meaningful. I truly enjoy listening to chinese songs though i enjoy listening to english songs as well. People say i have a weird taste when it comes to english songs but to me, it's perfect. Elegantly perfect. Just dyed my hair red ytd and i kinda like it. Like it sometimes, dislike it sometimes. Just hope this colour would last long as i don't wanna keep dyeing my hair.

Had a great, peaceful day today. Bought tickets for Singapore river experience and really, Singapore is a beautiful place after all. Went coffee club at central before that to satisfy my craving for their early grey iced tea with vanilla ice cream and tried their red velvet cake for the first time. Really love coffee club's desserts and drinks! Flying off to Bangkok tomorrow, kinda excited but at the same time worried? Still remember the days when I couldn't sleep the day before I'm going overseas. As i grow older, excitement doesn't come easily anymore.