Will i ever meet someone who truly loves and cares for me? will my marriage with him last? will we be always happy together and remain intimate even till our hairs are gray and our bodies starts to deteriorate? i am always worried over this. will my future husband always love, care, dote, defend and protect me? ever since young, i have always thought that perfect love only exist in fairy tales. i am always skeptical about love. why? because my eyes have seen too many. my ears have heard too many. broken marriages, adultery, lack of communication, no more feelings for each other, indifference, bitterness, unforgiveness and so much more. i was born in a complete family. it ended when i was three. being raised up in an incomplete family makes you doubt love all the time. even lose faith in it. yes, everything is sweet at the beginning. courtship and dating. basically they are called the honeymoon period. but once the honeymoon period is over, things will start to change. i have witnessed this in most couples. so i am afraid. very afraid of the future.
one of the greatest desires of my heart is to get married to a guy who will love me till the day my heart stops beating. even so, i will be forever etched in his memory and heart. i desire to find someone who will never cheat on me, always respect me, pampers me and dotes on me. i want him to always be there for me, love me and care for me. i want him to set his eyes only on me. i want to be that special woman he adores. i want him to thank god for me.
yes, i still believe in love. because i trust god. i know his plans for me. his plans are to prosper me and not to harm me. because if our earthly father knows how to give good things to us, how much more will god give to us? god knows the desires of my heart. god will not let me down. all i have to do is to follow him, obey him, delight in him and love him with all my soul and all my heart. i have to seek intimacy with him first. my god is holding the key. for that special guy to enter my heart. i have to surrender my heart to god. i have to let go and let god. i have to trust him with all my heart and with all my soul.
ultimately, the best relationship is with god.
i was desperate to touch god. because i had come to the conclusion that all flesh was grass, it was chasing after the wind, it was a vanity, here today and gone tomorrow. i had to touch the uncreated, because he was what was eternal. i was desperate. i said " i have to touch you, because you're the only thing that remains."
-Misty Edwards
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