My favourite song from Spring Awakening.

[WENDLA]
Just too unreal, all this
Watching the words fall from my lips

[MELCHIOR]
Baiting some girl with hypotheses

[BOTH]
Haven’t you heard the word of your body?

[MELCHIOR]
Don’t feel a thing, you wish

[WENDLA]
Grasping at pearls with my fingertips

[MELCHIOR]
Holding her hand like some little tease

[BOTH]
Haven’t you heard the word of my wanting?

Oh, I’m gonna be wounded
Oh, I’m gonna be your wound
Oh, I’m gonna bruise you
Oh, you’re gonna be my bruise

Just too unreal, all this

[WENDLA]
Watching his world slip through my fist

[MELCHIOR]
Playing with her in your fantasies

[BOTH]
Haven’t you heard a word how I want you?

Oh, I’m gonna be wounded
Oh, I’m gonna be your wound
Oh, I’m gonna bruise you
Oh, you’re gonna be my bruise

I'm still loving you

When I close my eyes I think of you

And the times we've had been through

Even though we are far apart right now

I remember back when you were here with me

How you've make my world complete

But now I'm left alone



We talked about love and hope

Wishing we could start a life on our own

I wish that I could live without you



Why did you tear my heart apart

You said you'll love me from the start

All those painful things you've put me through

But I'm still loving you

I've tried to give my best to you

I don't deserve the things you do

Everything has gone to memories

I just wish I knew the truth behind the lies


Behind the lies

I miss cooking. I miss how i used to cook dinner every evening for myself and dad. I miss trying different recipes and finding ways to improve my cooking just so my dad could have a good dinner. I miss buying groceries on my own and cooking as much dishes as i know to survive.

time of the month

Stuffing myself with medicine, wincing in pain, feeling helpless, resting in pain and hoping to fall asleep and waking up as if i have just died. Feeling guilty and upset because due to the pain, i have not studied for my exams.

I hate hearing promises because most often, people break them. I hate empty promises...

Valentine's day with my usual date

Happy valentine's day! Spent the day with plankton and went to so many random places. Tea chapter for tea , accompanied her to the clinic and on our way there we saw a super random sweet shop selling homemade mousse! Their mousse are so delicious! A pity their shop isn't located at a very popular place. Went to People's park for our dinner after that and finally, home! Glad to meet her again after so long :) Hoho when will it be my turn to celebrate valentine's day with a guy who truly loves me? ;)

This is really touching.. :(

I wanted to cry after i read this.

Me: God, can I ask You a question?

God: Sure

Me: Promise You won't get mad
... ... ... ...
God: I promise

Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?

God: What do u mean?

Me: Well, I woke up late

God: Yes

Me: My car took forever to start

God: Okay

Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait

God: Huummm

Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call

God: All right

Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?

God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one
of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that

Me (humbled): OH

GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.

Me: (ashamed)

God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.

Me (embarrassed):Okay

God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.

Me (softly): I see God

God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.

Me: I'm Sorry God

God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.

Me: I will trust You.

God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.

Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.

God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...

Holidays are here but, not official yet. I have to go back for exams next week. And once again, i failed financial accounting. I hate this module so so so much. To my disappointment, i failed business statistics too. Really upset. I don't want to retake them :( i don't want i really don't want. ;'( Anyhow, celebrated mummy's birthday on friday. She was really touched by the birthday card i made for her. I saw her cry!:')

Ps. I think I've lost my best friend.

"If I could explain love in one word, it would have to be trust. 
Trust that he doesn't cheat on you, trust that he doesn't lie to
 you, trust that he really likes you, trust that he will always be
 there for you, trust that he can go to a party and not get high 
or drunk, trust that you don't have to worry about him breaking 
up with you the second you wake up, trust that he will stick up 
for you, trust that he will never fall in love with another girl,
 trust that he won't just get sick of you, and trust that he
 wants you like you want him."

It is so hard to get along with people. I find it harder and harder as i grow older. God, i'm getting further and further away from people i love. Help.. me. People never fail to hurt me. Always. Can i be alone forever? Alone yet satisfied and happy?

I met a nice stranger today. :)